June 17, 2010

Thursday Thirteen - 6/17/10

I thought I'd seen all the memes there were until I stopped by to read the latest postings by one of my favorite blogs, Food Floozie, and caught Yenta Mary's Thursday Thirteen post. An excuse to list 13 "anythings"? Oh, I'm so in! It was Mary's first time doing a Thursday Thirteen and mine as well. Guess this is the only opportunity either one of us is going to have to be called "virgins" again. I'm only kidding, folks. I would NEVER suggest that Mary is anything but a virgin ;-) But enough about virginity, let's get to my inaugural Thursday Thirteen before it becomes a Friday Thirteen, and who wants a Friday the 13th anyway!

The theme for this group of 13 is "13 people that piss me off!". Now on with the show!:

1. Gisele Bündchen - Models in general piss me off, but this chick is just annoying. She's all like "Giving birth was great!. It didn't hurt! I didn't scream! Yada, yada, yada." C'mon, who is she kidding? Just admit it was painful and that it sucks, but having a beautiful little lump of flesh to show for it makes up for all the crap you go through, and call it a day. No one believes you anyway you rich and genetically favored b***h. (I'm sure she's a nice person and all, but she still pisses me off).

2. James Cameron - Do I really need to expound on the reasons why this man pisses me off? I know the reasons are as obvious as the perpetually-constipated look on his face.

3., 4., 5., 6, & 7. The entire cast of the Real Housewives of New Jersey - Don't believe for one second I'm trying to cheat my way through Thursday Thirteen by listing all these women in one shot. I've got beef with every single one of them. Dina - shame on you for letting Danielle and her vile ways make you quit the show. Grow a backbone, girl! Teresa - the mere fact that you have the nerve to claim your bankruptcy was caused by bad real estate investments and not the fact that you spend money faster than Paris Hilton jumps from man to man is enough to piss anyone off. Just admit you and your hubby are irresponsible with money, and get over yourselves. Jacqueline - stop hiding behind your husband and blaming him for not being friends with Danielle. Tell the woman she's a whack-job and you can't stand to be near her. Your hubby has nothing to do with it. Caroline - YOU AIN'T THE BOSS OF EVERYBODY!!! Get a life that does not involve dictating every thought, every action your family members have or make. Danielle - just the fact that you take up space on this planet pisses me off. In fact, book a seat on the next commercial space flight and stay there. You're as empty, black as void-less as space so you'll fit right in :-)

8. Tom Cruise - Your wife has a brain. Let her use it from time to time. I'm just sayin'...

9. Oprah - She doesn't actually piss me off as a person. Just her presence everywhere annoys me. She can send me a washer and dryer or a car any day of the week if she is so inclined.

10. Perez Hilton - Yes, I read his blog mainly because he's also Cuban-American like me. But he needs to remove his head from Lady GaGa's rear end long enough to realize she's not the Second Coming or anything like that. She's talented, quirky and fun, but she ain't Madonna! Let's not go crazy and put them in the same league now (I say this as I have my head stuck up Madonna's butt, and I'm damn proud of it!).

11. Angelina Jolie - I think she's a beautiful woman and a really good actress, but she can be so annoying when she starts talking about politics and other complicated issues. Shut up and look pretty. Oh and adopt more kids, but don't talk about stuff you know nothing about. You're stupid begins to show when you do that, so cover it up.

12. George Clooney - Just get married already, would ya?!?! You'll need someone to take care of you in your geriatric years (which are not too far off, I might ad ;-).

13. Me - I know, I know, me??? Totally cliché, right? But it's true. I piss myself off ALL THE TIME! Too bad I can't get away from me when I'm annoying myself. OK, I'm starting to get a headache trying to figure this all out which is pissing me off even more. I'll stop now.

1 comment:

  1. Sing with me now, honey: "Like a virgin ... touched for the very first tiiiiiime!" You are too funny -- do you feel better venting all of that??? I'm with ya on all of 'em. Have a FABULOUS time at the boys' party!


Por favor, throw this crazy Cuban mama a bone and comment on her stuff. Gracias :-)